A Conversation

I was talking today about working with people. About going to a boss or coworker or even a friend or family member with a problem you may be having with another person. We talked about the difficulties in sharing troubles with an apologist. In this specific case an apologist is the term I am using to refer to a person who will make excuses for the person you may be struggling with. We all have them in our lives. And it can be trying to share with them the interpersonal problems you are having.

Often it may feel as though the apologist is making excuses for the other person. Or not taking you as seriously as you want.

Why do they do this? I truly have no answer. In the least offending of cases the apologist may only be trying to share perspective with you. At times, I feel they are trying to avoid conflict, real or imagined.

But I would like to share with you a polite way to approach the appologist. When there is a problem and the apologist begins to make excuses for another persons behavior, I find it best to simply ask the apologist how the other person (the person you are discussing) would react in the sam situation. It helps bring the discussion back to your needs in the moment. And it helps the apologist understand that (at least in my experience) that the person they are apologizing for would not likely tolerate the same behavior they are exhibiting.

It is only when there are no excuses can growth occur. This holds true for business, and personal relationships.

Chapter 11

The Utility of Not-Being

Thirty spokes unite around the nave;
   From their not-being (loss of their individuality)
      Arises the utility of the wheel.
Mold clay into a vessel;
   From its not-being (in the vessel’s hollow)
      Arises the utility of the vessel.
Cut out doors and windows in the house (-wall),
   From their not-being (empty space) arises the utility of the house.
Therefore by the existence of things we profit.
And by the non-existence of things we are served.

 

Humans are part of a bigger picture, often whether we like it or not. On a small level we are part of a family. Part of a team at work, or part of the large picture of humanity. We do not, nor can we stand alone. Each individual is part of a machine, if you will. When we work within the group, working for the betterment of the group, we work for betterment of ourselves. This is a very hard thing for most of us to accept or to deal with.

We are also shaped by the groups we are a part of. Our family of birth shapes who we grow to be. Our peers at school shape us as well.

Letting go (again) of ego is where we will find ourselves the most true.

On a more business note: I started herbalism classes and will no doubt be bringing into this blog what I am learning in class. There is a direct connection between herbalism and Taoism. Much of what I will be bringing to my practice (when all is said and done) will be traditional western herbal medicine with a deeply Taoist spiritual thought. This is a growing thing for me. And I will certainly be excited to share with everyone I know.

 

Chapter 10

Embracing the One

In embracing the One with your soul,

Can you never forsake the Tao?

In controlling your vital force to achieve gentleness,

Can you become like the new-born child?

In cleansing and purifying your Mystic vision,

Can you strive after perfection?

In loving the people and governing the kingdom,

Can you rule without interference?

In opening and shutting the Gate of Heaven,

Can you play the part of the Female?

In comprehending all knowledge,

Can you renounce the mind?

What is there to say. When broken down into the parts this seems to be all about internal alchemy. Controlling forces, finding the female and the child. But everytime I read this chapter the first thing I think of is that I am being asked to ak myself these questions. Which, I suppose, is the same thing. The act of looking inward becomes the act of alchemy. Of fusion.

It is a goal of Taoist to better integrate the inside with the outside, the mind with the body. This can be achieved in several ways or combinations of several ways. Through meditaion (or prayer, if that is a term more comfortable to you), through diet, yoga, etc. The key always seems to me to be to keep up the process. To not allow the day to day stuff that we all have to become the main focus.

When I was learning meditation, we first learned some basic skills. The skill I keep refering back to is the gentle reminder when I get off track ( in meditation and “real” life) is to STOP, take a cleansing breath and refocus. It can be just that simple.

Chapter 9

The Danger of Overweening Success

Stretch (a bow) to the very full,
And you will wish you had stopped in time.
Temper a (sword-edge) to its very sharpest,
And the edge will not last long.
When gold and jade fill your hall,
You will not be able to keep them safe.
To be proud with wealth and honor
Is to sow seeds of one’s own downfall.
Retire when your work is done,
Such is Heaven’s way.

 

In the simplest terms I know, this chapter is all about moderation. Not too much of anything we need, but not too little either. Temper joy with sorrow, and strive for appreciation of both. Do not wish for more than you need, for if you do it will become your only focus. And when you have more than you need, someone else will want it.

Nature works in this way. And as Taoist we strive to reconnect with nature. Moderation is the way.

On devotion

I struggle. We all do. We struggle with different things each and every day. Consistently one of the things I have struggled with is devotion.

I am Taoist, we know that. But I also participate in Buddhist activities and beliefs, I often will send up a prayer to Ganesh when I need to see my way around an obstacle. I use Tarot cards in my meditations. I, in fact, use many different traditions daily. But, this did cause conflict. I felt as though I was not dedicating myself fully to, well, to anything.

My epiphany came last week, while reading a nerdy fantasy book. Mindless fiction to distract from the epic amount of mindless databasing I was doing. In this book, when one god was killed by another, the followers of the murdered god were adsorbed by the living god or they could choose to go off and follow a third god. How is this an epiphany? I realized that all of the gods, even in this fictional world were manifestations of a greater something. And that switching alliances was really finding that manifestation that worked the best to do the work that character needed to do.

So when I have work that I need to do, I pick the best tool for it. Some days that tool is Tarot cards that provide an illustration to the problem I am having. Sometimes it is a lit candle to focus my energy on. This does not make what I do or what I believe less.  Rather, it strengthens my devotion, because instead of feeling as though I cannot use what I think I need to use, I can use the right tool for job. I work rather than put it off. And I celebrate rather than question.

 

Water

The best of men is like water;
Water benefits all things
And does not compete with them.
It dwells in (the lowly) places that all disdain -
Wherein it comes near to the Tao.

In his dwelling, (the Sage) loves the (lowly) earth;
In his heart, he loves what is profound;
In his relations with others, he loves kindness;
In his words, he loves sincerity;
In government, he loves peace;
In business affairs, he loves ability;
In hi actions, he loves choosing the right time.
It is because he does not contend
That he is without reproach.

 

There are so many great things about this chapter. By being like water, we strive for helping not just our fellow humans, but all of the planet. We live simply, not taking more than we need. And we know the difference between wants and needs.

There is a great quote by Eleanor Rooseverlt, ” Great minds discuss ideas, average minds discuss events, small minds discuss people” This is much the same idea as “in his heart, he lovres what is profound.” Strivign to learn and to discuss ideas.

“In his words, he loves sincerity”. Honest, integrity. Say what you mean to say. If you are in tune with yourself and the Tao it will be the right thing to say. (This also has a great deal to do with checking your motivation…why are you wanting to say that specific thing.)

“in his actions, he loves choosing the right time” I equate this with picking your battles. We know not to plant too early or we lose our crop. We don’t teach a child to ride a bike before they can ealk. We learn to work within the rhythm not against it.

Let the connection with the universe guide your actions and they will be the right actions. Right for you, right for those around you and right for the planet.

Continue reading

Chapter 7

Living for Others

The universe is everlasting.
The reason the universe is everlasting
Is that it does not live for Self.
Therefore it can long endure.

Therefore the Sage puts himself last,
And finds himself in the foremost place;
Regards his body as accidental,
And his body is thereby preserved.
Is it not because he does not live for Self
That his Self is realized?

 

Letting go of self, of ego, of id, this is how we find immortality. Both Taoism and Buddhism speak of release. To me this means more of a merger. Merger with the void, or the Tao. Remembering that we are part, and a very small part at that, of the bigger picture. Reunion with the Tao leads to a greater sense of placement with in the universe. It is comforting for me to know that this is within my reach.

When we let doing take the place of why we do we let go of self. When we are in the moment purely for the sake of the moment, we let go of self. This takes a great amount of practice. We can get there through prayer, meditation, yoga, painting, gardening and many many other ways. The  important thing to to work on getting there.

Chapter 6

The Spirit of the Valley

The Spirit of the Valley never dies.
It is called the Mystic Female.
The Door of the Mystic Female
Is the root of Heaven and Earth.

Continuously, continuously,
It seems to remain.
Draw upon it
And it serves you with ease.

A very mystical sounding chapter. It is chapters like this that seemed to have encouraged the growth of external alchemy.

But for now we will look at it as internal mystery that tries to push the reader to think in those mystical terms that transcend our daily understanding of what is going on around us. One of the things that I really love of about the Tao Te Ching is that it is always pushing me to look inward. What is my connection to the universe? My connection with the universe always start with me, looking inward to find that spark of the universe that is in me. This is not something that ever leaves our study of the Tao.

The Tao is the root of every thing we are. It does not leave us. What happens is that we forget that it is a part of us. As humans we like to but labels on things. We cannot do that with the Tao.

Chapter 5

Nature

Nature is unkind:
It treats the creation like sacrificial straw-dogs.
The Sage is unkind:
He treats the people like sacrificial straw-dogs.

How the universe is like a bellows!
Empty, yet it gives a supply that never fails;
The more it is worked, the more it brings forth.

By many words is wit exhausted.
Rather, therefore, hold to the core.

 

Let me start by apologise for the laspes of posts last week. Time to get back on track.

This chapter is interesting, if for nothing else, the great range of translation differences. Some translations refer to “Nature” as “Heaven and Earth”, some just “Heaven”. The above translation is by Lin Yutang (to keep constitancy for the readers of this blog), but I greatly dislike the phrase “straw dogs” as it doesn’t translate well into English. In English it is a method of arguing. That is not what it means in Chinese. Here it is meant to mean a sacrificial thing.

I prefer the sentence ” They treat everything with equal detachment.” It works much better with the idea that nature sees all as equal. Perhaps a better way to look at this is thinking that the Tao (which is really what we are referring to with the terms “nature” and “heaven and earth”) does not see us, because you cannot see what is part of you (not totally anyway). We are regarded as part of the whole. Equal parts.

The Sage, or priest, or leader, or teacher should regard all as that same equal part. This would include the sage, himself, to treat himself as an equal part of that whole.

“Hold to the core” is a lot like keeping the faith. Don’t forget where you came from. And all those cheesy cliches that just mean, to me anyway, don’t forget who you are and where you come from, in this case, The Tao. Don’t lose that nature that creates you.

Later, we will talk about how we lose that connection to the Tao through culture and our developing social mores. For now, I would like to just remember that simplicity that is the Tao and how that resides in us. We breath in and out and are connected.

Chapter 4

The Tao is an empty vessel; it is used, but never filled.
Oh, unfathomable source of ten thousand things!
Blunt the sharpness,
Untangle the knot,
Soften the glare,
Merge with dust.
Oh, hidden deep but ever present!
I do not know from whence it comes.
It is the forefather of the emperors.

 

Tao is a hollow vessel,
And its use is inexhaustible!
Fathomless!
Like the fountain head of all things,
Its sharp edges rounded off,
Its tangles untied,
Its light tempered,
Its turmoil submerged,
Yet dark like deep water it seems to remain.
I do not know whose Son it it,
An image of what existed before God.

 

 

This one sure seems short and sweet doesn’t it. But there is such depth to it that it is one of the most forceful verses I have come across.

I also am posting two translations of this verse today, because I will be using them as a sort of comparison. For starters I much prefer the use of the word hollow. And while I can’t fully explain it, part of the reason is because empty seem so, well, empty. It seems lonely and alone and as though is wants to remain separate from me. While use of the word hollow implies a willingness to become full. A desire to hold the things that will help fulfill me.

(Warning: the next bit is both personal and likely controversial). I particularly like the that last line. The one in Lin Yutang’s version as it seems to sum up how I look at the universe. “An image of what existed before God”. The Tao was there always, even before God was created, or we created God. It is the stuff of God, or Gods, or what have you. It is.

Often when asked if I believe in God, I say “no”. I say no, because I don’t believe in a God like the western definition. I believe in something that has not been anthropomorphized. I believe is something so big and not understandable that I cannot call it God.

 

“Like the fountain head of all things,
Its sharp edges rounded off,
Its tangles untied,
Its light tempered,
Its turmoil submerged,”

This passage always suggests to me that time will ease all traumas. Through my hard work and meditation, return to the Tao and connection with the Te will smooth my pains and make life easier. It is a very peaceful passage that affects me deeply. All of the pain is held with in the Tao, as it is everything but because it strives for balance it smooths those edges. But instead of smothing them so smooht that I have nothing to grip to when I am search, There is always the strength and edge for me to hang out too. This is not a great phrasing for what I am trying to get across. But, that is the nature of the Tao, isn’t it. We can’t fully grasp it, much less explain it.
Most mystical experiences are quite like that. I would strongly suggest reading, or trying to read, as it is very challenging “The Varieties of Mystical Experience” by William James. It helps explain what seems to happen to those who have experienced that very spiritual, deep epiphany.